Forbidden Love : Mike 2nd story (Chapter 14)

Forbidden Love : Mike 2nd story 

Nath : (...how is johanes..?)

The operation light went off, but i felt that the time before the doctor came out of the emergency room was extremely long. My heart was beating loudly, and i found it difficult to breathe. i had never felt that a few seconds were so long before

Nath : (please, God, save Johanes!)

I held my shaking hands together as i prayed from the bottom of my heart. Then, a doctor came out from the operation room

Nath : "Doctor! how is JOhanes?! he's okay, right...?"

Guard : "madam, please calm down"

A guard tried to pacify me, since i was asking questions with such force

Nath : "how could i calm down?! johanes, johanes.. he was injured because of me!"

Doctor :"Mr. Gilbert was able to do his best"

nath : "eh?"

After the doctor said that with a calm smile, Johanes, still unconscious, was carried out of the operation room

Doctor : "he is currently unconscious because of anesthesia, but..he will wake up soon"

Nath : "..i'm so glad"

Though Johanes looked pale, i was happy he was still alive

Doctor : "he will need to stay at the hospital for a little awhile, but he will be fine if he gets some rest"

Nath : "..really?there won't be any obstacles to his everyday life..?"

doctor : "he'lll be fine"

Nath : "doctor, thank you very much..really, thank you so much..!"

i thanked the doctor again and again

Mike : "Nath? where are you going?"

Nath : "..i'm going to see Johanes"

Once Mike heard johanes name, he looked a bit uncomfortable

Mike : "..how's his condition? you've been going to check up on that idiot everyday right?"

Nath : "yeah.. he's getting better and better"

Mike : "i see.."

Nath : "..."

Mike : " i need to thank him properly too. since he protected somebody important to me"

Nath : "mike.."

Mike : "..but stop going to meet him every day"

Nath : "eh?"

Mike : "i think it can't be helped since you feel guilty, but..you'll just hurt him if you hang around and he gets

           the wrong idea, right? unless you actually.."

Nath : "what are you saying..johanes and i are friends, okay?"

Mike : "are you really thinking that when you go and check up on him?"

Nath : "eh?"

Mike : "i can't see your visits as just visit from a friend"

Nath : "..."

After Mike said that in a rather lonely voice, he closed the door and went to work. I understood what Mike wanted to say. i knew myself that my attitude when i checked up on johanes wasn't the one of just a friend. i was full of guilt about what had happened to johanes and felt really sorry. i hoped that by visiting him when he was unwell, at least a little of that guilt would go away

Nath : (..i'm the worst)

Joseph : "oh, you are.. you came today as well?"

Nath    : "hello, how is Johanes?"

when he visited the hospital, there was joseph, johanes father. Johanes father unlike johanes, was a very serious person

Nath : (but i've heard that he dotes on his son. Johanes ended up as a bit of a clown tough)

he seemed like he was normally very strict, but..in the end, he was indulgent with his only son

Joseph : "there is no helping it, since hes always going on about how he has nothing to do. this would be a 

              good chance for him to stop playing around so much, though i suppose it would be unreasonable to

              ask that of him. but i'm ery glad he's fine"

Nath    : "..."

Joseph : "ah, i don't mean to blame you, Nath.."

Nath    : "no, i understand, i am very sorry"

Joseph : "please dont apologize. though i was truly surprised when i heard about johanes from michael.."

Nath    : "..i'm really sorry"

Joseph : "no, when i heard he was injured, i thought that he might have been injured by a woman"

Nath    : "eh?"

Joseph : "Johanes is easily please, so he is rather undisciplined whe it comes to women, is he not? so he

              plays around with a fair number of women, and i thought that he ended up injured by one of them. 

             that was why i was truly surprised when i heard that he was injured because he was protection you, 

             nath. it made me happy as a parent to know that johanes is so concerned about you. you certainly 

             may feel the same way as the person who was saved"

Nath    : "..."

Joseph : "from my eyes as his father, i can see that johanes changed after meeting you. well, he is still an idiot

               at times.."

Nath     : "no, johanes has helped me with many things"

Johanes :"it makes me happy as a parent to hear that"

Nath      : "are you leaving already?"

Joseph : "yes, i still have work, but i ended up coming because i was worried about johanes. nath, you must

             have many troubles yourself.."

Nath    : "..."

Joseph : "then, until we meet again. please send my reagards to michael as well"

Nath    : "i will"

Johanes : "..."

when i went into the hospital room, johanes was looking  out the windows aimlesly

Nath     : "as usual, you look like you're going to die from boredom"

johanes : "oh, you came"

Nath     : "yup. i met your father in the coridor just now"

Johanes : "could you tell my dad this too? that he doesnt have to show his face here everyday"

Nath      : "you're his only son, so he's worried about you"

Johanes : "i just want him to stop  preaching at me everyday when he comes"

Nath       : "he preaches at you?"

Johanes : "yeah, it's like i'm listening buddhist sutras everyday. he says things like i wont be able to get better 

               if i act the way i do"

Nath     : "i think he shouldnt speak like that since he's worried about you

johanes : "i know, so i want to tell him to stop lecturing me"

Nath     : "isnt it because you dont usually listen to your father properly?"

Johanes : "i think thats only a small factor"

Nath      : "ahaha,so you know"

Johanes : "..more importanly, you're coming to see me everyday, but did tha guy say anything to you about

               it?"

Nath      : "..."

Johanes : "he must have said something, right? since its you, i bet you're coming anyway even though he said

               something"

i couldnt say anything back

Johanes : "do you feel like you're obligated to come here?"

Nath      : "thats not it!"

Johanes : "i think it is though. its troubling  for me to see your face everyday when it looks so depressed"

Nath      : "eh?"

Johanes : "you probably haven't noticed, you  look sad every time you come here."

Nath     : "thats not true.."

Johanes : "i didnt protect you so you would look sad"

Nath      : "johanes!

Johanes : "sorry, but go home"

Nath      : "johanes.."

Johanes : "i told you to go home. if you come like this everyday, it'll just make me miserable"

Nath     : "...sorry. all i ever do is hurt you, johanes.."

johanes : "..."

Mike : "i'm back"
Nath : "welcome home.."
Mike : "hearing such a gloomy welcome will just make me feel more tired"
Nath : "..."
Mike : "nath?"

Question :
Johanes said the same thing
My bad then!
did i look like that?

Nath : "Johanes said the same thing"
Mike : "..the idiot did?so what's why you're so despressed?"
Nath : "he said that if i was so sad when i visited him everyday, it would just  make him miserable"
Mike : "..."
Nath : "i thought that in the end,  all i can do is hurt johanes and then i felt so miserable.."

Before i finished speaking, Mike embraced me

Nath : "Mike...?"
Mike : "you should realize that smiling  at everyone  and having a happy ending is impossible. If you  smile at everyone, it'll be too much. Get ready to head out"
Nath : "eh?"
Mike : "i'll bring you on a drive as a change of pace. Though the guards will be following"
Nath : "...but you're tired from work, Mike"
Mike : "don't worry about that, so get ready within ten minutes"
Nath : "okay.. hey, Mike.."
Mike : "hm?"
Nath : "thank you"

with my back to Mike, i thanked him quietly

Mike : "don't worry about it"

i couldn't see his expression since my back was to him, but i'm sure he was smiling gently

Nath : (the truth  is i should have talked to Johanes when he was injured..)

However, because of how guilty  i felt about it, i had been running away from that conversatation

Nath : ( but that isn't good for either of us..)

even if johanes would be hurt, i had chosen Mike, with that determination, i decided to talk to johanes